Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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