i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
