it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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