i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My dad is sitting where you rode me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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