Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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