talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
