if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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