I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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