First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
