This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.