There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.