i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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