I just made out with a guy for $7.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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