Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Pappa wants mamma naked
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
