Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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