You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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