Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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