Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
did i just pee glitter
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
