And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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