two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
