Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
