hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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