Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize