watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
