sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You are a genius and a whore.
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