She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
