Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
