Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
