and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
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I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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