we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
