We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
