Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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