Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
