i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
