i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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