so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
