It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
