And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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