We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
