Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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I booty called her while she was in labor.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
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I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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