he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
