are you so shy because you have an std?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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