end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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