so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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