she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
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I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
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James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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