White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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