It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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