You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
