2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need water and some morals
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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