i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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