that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you had me at cake vodka
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
