this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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