on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
