my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
