Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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