i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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