false alarm. still invincible.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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