Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
