i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
