the new term for farting is butt boxing.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
