Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
