I think I won the penis lottery.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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