spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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