i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
4 words: hood of his car
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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