I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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