I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
