I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize