You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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